Five Minutes With The President
Dear Mr. President: May I suggest something quite revolutionary: a commissioner of good taste. Yes, I accept. Compassion is always in good taste, Mr. President, never out of style. It goes well with anything, even the red ties, the white shirt, and the blue suit. That Uncle Sam thing you have going on. Mr. President, I think you will find that while you are being stylish, an icon of good taste, shaking the odd baby and kissing hands or whatever, you can also come into to your own as a real person. That’s what style can do – bring out the real in you, Mr. P. and then you can embark on my special project for you– building a coalition of the real.
Now, my big concerns are the arts, and creating programs for kids our kids are the future; they possess inside themselves all that is to come. Support a federal after-school program; get these kids off the streets whenever possible. you will find that well-funded programs will do that, and the small amount of money invested in them now will save billions later on jails, police, rehabs, court costs etc. kids don’t really want to do nothing but get in trouble. Give them something to inspire them; the next scientist, doctor, writer, actor or president is out there waiting to be nurtured and mentored. Good idea, right?
As for you…take a walk on the beach sometime, take of these wing tips and ball up the male hose and let your toes squiggle in the sand. Your brain’ll kick into gear. You’ll get ideas, too. You might even get an insight into how to stop the rising cost of drugs. See, there’s another idea!
Now I wont waste my breath going on about gay marriage. Let me just say, gays are big influential taxpayers; they have a right to what three-legged people and green people and straight people have. So, please just think of me as one of the good o’l boys and finally give is our equal civil rights.
Where was I? Oh, yeah. I will humbly accept the cabinet post of czar of good taste. A little chiffon and satin would really brighten the place up and create a prettier place for positive action. My god, it looks like Lincoln slept here! And enough with the bunting. And those long, boring, drab tunnels connecting everything on Capitol Hill (they’re a bummer!). Who do I talk to about piping some music in there? A little Beyoncé or Alicia Keys could go a long way…. oh yeah, and since we are being creative, can you legalize weed? Alcohol causes some serious problems, but when people are stoned they drive five miles per hour and just want to go home and munch out. Just say yes to weed; its calming, therapeutic and less dangerous, and causes less damage than cigarettes and liquor. The hectic world we live in would become a less stressed place, but for one big mellow traffic jam. Which is better than a war.
Mr. President! However since we are already in one (it really didn’t end in 2003, you know), you must take care of those fighting to protect us, our glorious country, and our incredible lifestyle.
Take care of our soldiers and take care of our families; they have given us so much already…hey, as the new commissioner of good taste, maybe I would recommend that you hook them up with some kind of makeovers…this new coalition is gonna be hot!!! Can’t wait to get started…Keep the faith and keep it real.
PHILLIP BLOCH is an internationally renowned stylist who has dressed some of Hollywood’s brightest stars. He is the author of Elements of Style
and has served as a commentator for CNN and MTV. In addition, Bloch donates his free time to fundraising for Kelly and Sharon Stone’s Planet Hope for Children, the Atlanta Center for the Visually Impaired, and multiple breast cancer and AIDS action/awareness organizations.